Tomorrow: My Least Favorite Word

I’m standing in front of an apple pie, contemplating whether or not to eat a slice. I probably shouldn’t. Especially considering I want to lose weight.

I looked at myself in the mirror last week, shirtless, and thought “I’m fairly fit, but if I leaned out and lost 5-10 pounds of fat, I would look great.” So, I decided at that moment to be healthier.

Things haven’t gone well.

Over the last seven days, I ate dessert at least four times. I ate pizza once. I ate tacos once. I ate Chipotle and Panera back to back days for lunch. I ate a chicken salad wrap from the bagel place today. And I had a few beers last night.

I wish I had better self-control. I wish I stayed strong and ate healthy foods instead of the monstrosity listed above. But I couldn’t do that. I defaulted to the following response, instead: “I’ll eat healthier tomorrow.”

And now, as I stand in front of this pie, I know I shouldn’t eat it. It’s 9:45 pm. I should go to bed. But I’m weak. I just had a productive rock climbing session, which I use as justification to eat the pie. So I do it. I eat the pie. And to make matters worse, I heat it up in the microwave and plop a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top.

It’s delicious. Dare I say, mouth watering. But I’m not proud of myself.

Moments before taking the first bite, I say the worst thing possible, too: “I’ll be healthier tomorrow.”

Tomorrow…

Tomorrow is now my least favorite word.

I dislike it because every time I say I will do something tomorrow, I never do it. Instead, when tomorrow comes, I tell myself that I’ll do it tomorrow. Then when that day comes, “I’ll do it tomorrow.” It’s an endless loop.

Tomorrow is the worst.

It leads to unproductive days. It leads to regret. It leads to unfulfilled dreams. It leads to procrastination. It leads to bad days at work. It leads to weight gain. It leads to missed opportunities. It leads to hangovers. It leads to sadness. It leads to unfinished projects. And so on.

Most of my biggest regrets and failures in life occurred because I said I would start tomorrow. And, of course, I never did.

Tomorrow (the real tomorrow) will be my next big challenge. I go into the city for an Oktoberfest street festival. Everyone with me will be drinking. I’ll probably consider joining them at some point. I’ll want to say to myself, “It’s okay for me to have some beers today. I’ll just start being healthy tomorrow.”

But I’m too knowledgeable and self-aware now.

I’m done saying tomorrow. I’m done allowing that word to control my life. I’m an ambitious person. There’s a lot I hope to accomplish in the future. There was a lot I hoped to accomplish over the last few years. But tomorrow prevented me from fulfilling those things.

I’m not letting it beat me again.

That’s why I need to, and will, free myself from tomorrow. If I keep letting it win, I’ll never accomplish what I hope to accomplish in life. And that’s the worst thing anyone could do.

So, no more tomorrow. It’s an ugly word.

Instead, it’s time to focus on a better word: today.