I'm the LeetCode Loser

Quick, quick! Someone call a Google recruiter and tell them I’m finally ready to become a software engineer. Tell them I’m about to ace the freaking tech interview and blow their minds.

I want to do it NOW.

Okay, let’s be real…

If I actually hopped on a technical interview right now, I wouldn’t pass.

I’d bomb it.

I’d do so badly that the interviewer would laugh in my face and invite his coworkers on the call to laugh at me too. It’s a harsh world out there.

But that’s the truth.

Reading one book on data structures and algorithms doesn’t make you an instant legend.

Even though I’ve been studying Python for two months, I can’t solve coding interview problems if my life depended on it. So here’s some advice for any mortal enemies I may have…

Threaten the life of someone I know as blackmail and say, “Listen up, you data dork… The only way I’m freeing your friend is if you write a Python script that finds the longest substring without repeating characters. And do it in O(n) time. Muah ahahah.”

I’d laugh and say my goodbye to the loved one. Because I ain’t solving that problem.

It’s a bit embarrassing, no?

Give me a LeetCode problem, and I’ll solve half the problem, but still give up after 30 minutes. I can’t be mad, though. People spend weeks studying and practicing for coding interview problems. I can’t expect one book to turn me into a pro without practice.

So, here’s the deal…

I’m not trying to become a software engineer. I’m just trying to have fun and understand computer science more. 

So I’m writing this post to serve as living proof that I suck at coding interview problems.

Because give me a few months, and I’ll be looking back at this, laughing. I’ll tell you, “Go ahead. Kidnap my loved one and threaten me with a LeetCode problem. I ain’t scared. I’ll ace it – in O(1) time complexity.”

Talk about a flex with that O(1), eh?