I Gave a Stranger $200

[I used to have a newsletter called Lost in The Talk, where I’d share personal stories with my readers weekly. This essay is one of them. Originally emailed to my list on January 16th, 2023. Oh, and it’s completely unedited. What you see is what I sent. So forgive me for my mistakes]

When I was a sophomore in college, I decided to give a stranger $200 one night…

And that was the worst decision I made all semester.

Here’s why I regret it…

It was a Saturday night, and I pre-gamed with my friends so that we didn’t have to spend too much money at the bars.

I looked in my wallet and saw no money in there.

That meant I had to walk across campus in the freezing cold to go to the atm.

But, hey, you can’t party without money.

So, I went.

Lucky for me, there was no line at the atm.

And at that moment, I remembered we planned on calling our Ubers soon, so I wanted to hurry.

I stood at the atm, clicking the buttons harder. (As if it would make the machine work faster)

When it asked me to enter the withdrawal amount, I typed in:

$200

Before you call me crazy…

I didn’t plan on using all $200 during that Saturday night.

Usually, I’d take out $60 for the night.

But I did that every night I went out.

So, I decided to withdraw “party money” for the next two weekends to save myself the “terrible” five-minute walk to the atm.

The atm moved slowly that day, and I felt myself sobering up.

My leg bounced in its place as I kept checking the time, waiting for the machine to print the damn money.

Then it did.

So, I grabbed my receipt and hurried back to my room.

I slithered through the crowd of people in my common room and went into my bedroom.

I didn’t want to bring the whole $200 with me because I didn’t want to lose it.

When I opened my wallet to stash some of the money away, I saw nothing.

NOTHING!

That’s when I realized I was so rushed to return that I forgot to take the MONEY!

Literally, the only reason I went to the atm in the first place.

And, of course…

Of all the days to take out more money than usual, it had to be that day.

I raced out my dorm room door and did an awkward “half-sprint-half-walk” back to the atm.

The whole way there, I prayed for one thing…

“Please! Tell me no one used the atm in the last five minutes…”

I arrived back.

And the money…

Was gone.

Desaparecido!

That devastated me.

I gave $200 to a random stranger and hated every second of it.

The experience weighed me down for the rest of my night.

I still went out to party, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how embarrassing the mistake was.

Here’s a little secret about that incident…

I never told anyone. This secret has been hidden in my brain for three years.

Not a single soul found out. (Not my friends, not my family) 

You're one of the first to read about it.

But why did I decide to tell you about this now?

Because the moment taught me a valuable lesson about life that I need to share.

I realized that mistakes and failures are inevitable.

You can pout or cry when they happen…

Or…

…You can analyze what happened to learn from them.

For a long time, I let myself become upset when I lost or failed. (sometimes, it still happens)

I’d ruin my day because of it.

But that’s healthy.

A few days after giving away the $200, I reviewed what happened and learned how to avoid it from happening again.

I looked at what did/didn’t work to optimize future results.

I’ve never lost money from an atm since then because I take the money before the receipt.

So, what can you do with this info?

I understand that saying you’ll analyze your failures is easier said than done.

Here’s the three-step process I use when life doesn’t go my way.

And it’s easier to do than you think…

1. Take three deep breaths
2. Ask yourself WHY you failed/lost/made a mistake
3. Remember your answer for next time

I know, it seems too simple.

But you’d be surprised at how effective it works when you’re distressed.

That’s why I’m challenging you.

Try it out and tell me how it works for you.